Just Listen to Yourself

How often do you listen to what you’re saying? When you speak to others in conversation or instruction, do you take note of your tone of voice or the way you are talking to the other person? Often we are so busy trying to convey our own message that we don’t think about what we are saying and how we are saying whatever it is. I wonder if you would want to be talked to in the way you talk to others? Perhaps that’s a good place to start in this self-examination.

Would You Talk to Yourself Like That?
In Ephesians 4:31-32, the Apostle Paul says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Think about each of those words for a moment. Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice. We would not want to be on the receiving end of comments or actions featuring those attributes. So, in the same way we ought to be careful to avoid speaking to others in that way. It will take intentionally listening to our words if change is going to come.

We are, though, supposed to fill our language with kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness. Those are words we long to hear. Those are the tones we need to hear. When someone speaks to us in these ways, we are usually listening closely. Words spoken to us in kindness and tenderheartedness express love, concern and care. The earsplitting words previously mentioned express no love, only harshness. Who wants to be rubbed by words that are as coarse as sand paper? Not me. And probably not you either.

How Would Christ Speak?
There’s more to this story though. Paul says that we should treat one another this way because Christ treats us this way. To the disobedient and rebellious Christ offers forgiveness. To the wayward and down trodden He offers mercy and kindness. To the broken and hurting He offers tenderheartedness. We should express this love to one another because we have received it from Christ. I wonder if you have received it. Your words can only reflect His love when you have received it. If you have received the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I wonder if you are extending it to others through your conversation. It will take paying attention. Are you listening to what you’re saying?

Want to be Free from Guilt?

Guilt is heavy. It is a great weight around our necks. Many of us carry guilt for things we have said, done or even wanted to do. We battle these accusations in our mind and wonder if we can ever be free from the shame and the embarrassment that seems to be ever near. Whether anyone else knows of these offenses or not, the guilt is heavy and wants to derail our lives.

Guilt Does Not Surprise God
God knows this. He is not surprised by the affect of our sinful living or thinking. Likewise, it should not be a great surprise to us either, but often it is and we don't know how to deal with it. What brings lasting joy in your life? What brings satisfaction? Isn't that what you want to replace this guilt and shame? Followers of Jesus know that joy comes when we walk with Him. When we are consistently obedient to what Jesus teaches us, and how He directs us to live we are able to be satisfied. Why would we be surprised, then, to find that there is great pain and separation when we try to make our own way. Yet, usually we are surprised. We don't think about the consequences of our actions. We either refuse to follow Jesus or we simply forget. Then, we are grieved and held in the bondage of our guilt and shame. We don't have to live this way.

God Desires for You to Live Blamelessly
In Ephesians 1 we hear that Jesus has come to create for Himself a people that are holy and blameless. They are a people set apart to love God, follow Him and have this liberty and confidence in Christ in their lives. They are a people who are freely forgiven by Jesus and are called to hold this truth dear and apply this freedom to their thinking and living. Jesus knows this freedom because of His obedience to the Father. He knew it when He walked the Earth and He knows it now. He desires to bring you this relief from shame and guilt. He wants to deliver healing and restoration to your heart.

Have you wondered how David carried on after his scandalous sins of adultery and conspiracy to murder? How was David able to move forward and live victoriously for God's glory? Many of us would consider our lives ruined. We would be convinced that God was going to put us on a shelf until we die. Yet, David didn't live this way. Why not? He understood the power and scope of God's forgiveness. He knew he would bear the scars of his sin, but he also knew God would free him from the weight of the shame of his sin. Listen to what he said in Psalm 32,

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
 2 Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah

5 I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly 
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him. 
7 You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
 9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
 11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

I can think of four "r's" that will help you overcome guilt like David did. Here they are: repentance, recovery, remembering and rejoicing.

Repentance
David acknowledged and confessed his sin to God in verse 5. Relief came when he stopped trying to hide it. Repentance will lead us to make good the wrongs that we have done and to seek the forgiveness we need. It is a difficult step, but it is the first step that must be taken.

Recovery
We need God's forgiveness. God promises to give it. David knew that he had received. In verse 5 we hear him say directly that God had forgiven him. It was no question. It was a statement of fact. He would live in this truth from now on.

Remembering
David proclaimed that God was his strength and hiding place in verse 7. We must be quick to remember that God is our help. He is able to give us the courage and hope we need. If we stop dwelling on this truth...if we forget we will be led to begin looking solely on ourselves, others or something else for strength. We must remember! We must continually remind ourselves (out loud if necessary) that God is our strength and His way of living is best. Then, we must seek His ways in His Word and by joining with His people.

Rejoicing
The great psalmist knew of the pain of hiding his sin and feeling the accompanying guilt and shame. Now he knew forgiveness. Now he knew joy. His song returned. His heart was returned to gratefulness. God delivered him and he could sing again.

It is a process, but you can sing again. God will deliver you when you seek Him. Christ has come to set us free. He has carried our sin and shame, nailed it to the cross and defeated it by overcoming even death. Will you seek His help in throwing off this dead weight of shame and guilt in your life?

Mercy and Faithfulness

This Psalm seems very fitting for the events of this week. We are people in desperate need of God’s mercy. I hope we realize it.

Let Your Glory Be over All the Earth
Psalm 57
1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by.
2 I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
3 He will send from heaven and save me;
he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!
4 My soul is in the midst of lions;
I lie down amid fiery beasts—
the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.
5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!
6 They set a net for my steps;
my soul was bowed down.
They dug a pit in my way,
but they have fallen into it themselves. Selah
7 My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast!
I will sing and make melody!
8 Awake, my glory!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the dawn!
9 I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to you among the nations.
10 For your steadfast love is great to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.
11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!